I came across a helpful little article today on TheKnot.com site entitled “9 Tips for Who to Pick as Bridesmaids”. I thought it was so relevant, that I wanted to share it with my own readers! (I love you guys!) So pay close attention future brides. You don’t want to make the wrong decision when picking the girls who will help make or break your big day.
How Many to Choose
How many bridesmaids you select should directly be related to the amount of guests you intend to invite to your wedding. Big wedding, big group. Small wedding, small group, etc. Many wedding experts agree that one bridesmaid/groomsman for every 50 guests is generally a good rule to follow. Now don’t be ridiculous and ask random people to be a part of your bridal party if you don’t know them or are not comfortable with them simply to fill some imaginary quota. You’ll be a-okay without them. I promise.
Another good rule to follow is that larger parties usually indicate more formal ceremonies and vice versa. So you may want to take that into consideration as well.
More Doesn’t Necessarily Equal Merrier
More bridesmaids equal more estrogen, more opinions, and very potentially, more drama. This is especially true if your bridesmaids do not know each other very well or do not like each other. And don’t forget, for every bridesmaid you choose, you have to pay for their gift(s), bouquets, and anything else you plan to bestow on your maids.
A Family Affair
Family can, unfortunately, provide some challenges when it comes to selecting your bridesmaids and maid(s)/matron(s) of honour. If you prefer to avoid whatever family drama you can, then choosing your sisters, cousins, in-laws, as members of your bridal party will be a good idea. Or, if you’re more confident in your decisions against choosing particular family members, then go for it! But you must be prepared to stand by your decision. Feelings will be hurt at first and people may disagree, but ultimately, it’s your wedding. The people who deserve to stand by you on your special day are the one’s who have, are, and will be with you through thick and thin. Let that be your guide.
No Returned Favours Necessary
Don’t worry your pretty little head about simply asking someone to be a bridesmaid in your wedding just because you were a bridesmaid in theirs. Weddings are not the time to return favours. Choose the girls you love and respect best as well as the girls you can afford to invite. Inviting anyone else is just excessive.
Be realistic about the duties you expect from your bridesmaids. Best friends from a different state or country cannot be expected to help you address and mail off invitations and you should not plan so irresponsibly that they are bogged down rolling programs and baking wedding favours when they should be enjoying the pre-wedding celebrations and getting a good night’s sleep like everyone else. To maintain a tangible “support staff”, either select bridesmaids nearby or create a willing group of wedding troopers who are happy to help when occasion calls for it. This is will most certainly alleviate stress and frustration.
Think It Through
Selecting your bridesmaids is a process that should be made with great consideration and a dose of practicality. Consider where you girls are in their lives. You may have to select a bridesmaid dress you love a little less so all of the girls can afford to purchase it, or you may want to budget to pay for the dresses yourself. You may also want to invite a financially struggling bridesmaid with communicated understanding of her situation and even offer to pay her way if her attendance is that important to you. Whatever hard decisions that are made, you want to be sure that you are still close to your bridesmaids when the wedding is said and done.
We Like Guys Too
Now a days, men are also allowed to participate as members of a bridal party that would have originally been restricted to females. You can have a “man of honour”, “bridesman”, or “attendant” as you prefer. You could even substitute flower girls for pages only. The decision is yours.
Even if all your loved ones can’t be bridesmaids for whatever reason, there are still many ways to include them in your wedding. They can serve as candle lighters, singers/musicians, hosts/hostesses, and more. They could even have words or give a speech if they are particularly eloquent. And at the end of the day, they will still feel included in your special day.
The Horse’s Mouth
Once you’ve finally decided on your bridal party, you and your future hubby will want to let those selected know immediately. Besides the obvious fact that you’ll want to share this information with your loved ones, it will be a way to cut down confusion to those who assume they are a part of your bridal party when they are not. And although awkward, this should be nipped in the bud right away to [hopefully] prevent bitterness or any further confusion.
To read the The Knot’s original article, click here.